When Miami Heat point guard Mario Chalmers dropped $2.4 million to buy Drake‘s condo in Biscayne Bay, Miami he must have figured he had it made in the shade. 5,475 square feet with a perfect view; what could go wrong? Here’s a glimpse at the perfect bachelor pad:
Realty TodayOf course, it also infamously appeared in Drake’s “I’m The One” video.
But The Wall Street Journal reports that Chalmers has listed the house on the market for a cool $4 million. Considering that Drake was previous owner, we’re really not that surprised. A guy as emotionally expressive as Drizzy doesn’t inhabit a house without leaving a lifetime full of ghosts hanging about. Here’s our best guess as to which spectral figures from the rapper’s past drove poor Chalmers out.
Courtney From Hooters On Peachtree
Miss Info/Twitter
Drake did Courtney from Hooters on Peachtree dirty by airing her out on “From Time.” She probably took her revenge by leaving phantom Hooters chicken wings and dip around the house. Hell hath no fury, you know? And what’s scary than a pile of old chicken bones in the hallway. Shudder.
Drake’s Dad
Drake’s dad has become a minor celebrity in his own right, his Instagram full of him posing with substantially younger women. Picture Chalmers waking up in the morning next to a cute babe, only to find Dennis Graham leering at her from the other side of the bed muttering the chorus to “Best I Ever Had.” Since Dennis is still alive, he could’ve just been dropping by unannounced anyway, forgetting that Drake sold the place. Nothing cramps your game like a ladies man who just won’t leave!
Wheelchair Jimmy
Teen Nick
Tracks appearing on the carpet. A mysterious handrail installed in the shower. Basketballs all over the front yard? This can only mean one thing…
Instagram
No one is really quite sure what this dude’s deal is, beside the fact that he appears in a bunch of Drake videos, he looks like a pirate, and he’s presumably spent the last two years living underneath what became Mario Chalmers’ back porch. Imagine the look on Chalmers face when he catches OB raiding the fridge in nothing but an OVO loincloth.
Drake Himself
Chelsea Lauren/WireImage
But let’s be real: like any Scooby Doo episode, the ghosts were the trickery of a criminal mastermind the whole time. A mastermind who dwells on the past, hates letting things go, and is brutally honest about his jealousy. Sound like anyone familiar? You win this round, Aubrey. He probably just needs the condo back to film a new video from his forthcoming album Views From The 6.
Which Ghosts From The Past Drove Mario Chalmers Out Of Drake’s Miami Condo?
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